We Call This.......Saturday

Imagine cuddling up to your sweetheart early on a Saturday morning. And when I say early, I'm talking around 6:15; when a text message appears on the cell phone from your youngest daughter asking you to pick her up from her friends house for personal reasons ('nuff said). So I go get her and bring her home, help her feel better and send her to go lay down. Now, when I say lay down I'm thinking in her room. But, no, she plants herself on the couch in front of the television instead. At 6:30 a.m.? Really?! Okay, so I go back to bed because I'm sleepy and it's the weekend for crying out loud. 
I get comfortable, cuddling back up to Loren when I get another text message, this time from our oldest daughter who is currently in NYC. 
And I quote, "If you have time this weekend could you gather up things you don't want anymore from around the house? I'm gonna set up a garage sale next weekend. Got to make some gas cash for Bonnaroo." 
Now, Bonnaroo is described as a Four-day, multi-stage camping festival held on a 700-acre farm in Manchester, Tennessee. Yeah. Think a modern day Woodstock. The tickets cost $400! Yes, $400. 
So, my response was, "Let me get this straight. You want to sell MY stuff so YOU can have gas for Tennessee?" Her: "Yeah, that's about right." 
I then advised her that Mercy Franklin was a block away and I would be more than willing to make her a psych appointment. Lets just say, she was not amused. Loren and I thought it was quite funny and we were laughing pretty hard!
It was then we decided that we would not get any more sleep and it was time to start our day. We had a very pleasant time at the Downtown Farmer's Market where we bought the best focaccia bread we had ever eaten; VERY dangerous!
We stop at the bank on the way home to deposit our middle daughter's paycheck because she couldn't, due to being at softball practice.
We got home and were promptly yelled at by the 11-year-old for not taking her with us. Uhhh, you're sick, remember?
We decided to head to run some errands to get a few things and then home to relax. 
Understand that now it's about 5:30 in the evening, and we're tired. Remember, we didn't get to sleep in. We arrive home to our middle daughter asking if she can go hang with one of her girlfriends after she finishes watching a movie. I tell her no problem. After which, she promptly gets in to an argument with her younger sister, about what I have no idea. I just know they're yelling. I tell them both to stop, to which the older daughter responds by being nasty to me! I tell her she can no longer go with her friends. 
The exchange that ensues between us is akin to having a conversation with a three-year-old. Mind you, she is sixteen. She kept coming to me saying, "I can't go out? Really mom? Why?"
"Really, Em," I reply. 
Now you need to understand, she asked this same question about six times. And, I explained to her each time why she could not go out. I told her that when she is abusive to me, she forfeits her privileges. 
After I feel she has gotten the point of why she should not have acted the way she did toward me, I tell her I have relented and she can now go out. She says she can't now because her friend got mad at her when she told her she couldn't go. I suggested that perhaps if she calls her back and talks to her I'm sure she would want to go out again. She said she would NOT call. I asked her why not and she said because she and her friends don't CALL, they TEXT! Jeez mom! 
But guess what? She got a hold of her friend, and they went out. 
We decide to go to Hy-Vee to get some things for dinner. At the grocery store I get a call from the aforementioned  middle daughter saying that she tried to put gas in her car and her card said there was no money in the account. I explain it's because it's SATURDAY and the processing won't be complete until TUESDAY since Monday is a holiday!! 
"But mom I need gas! I only have a quarter tank!" Huh? I drive a Yukon! A quarter tank is about all I ever have and I have to sell blood to get that! So Loren and I agree to go help her get more gas (whatever!), and ask where she is. She is at the Kum & Go at the corner of 70th and Douglas. When I start to ask why not the Git & Go that's closer to our house and closer to where we are I stop myself. Please refer a the former post. 
On our way to rescue her she sent a text which started a conversation which can only be described as....well....you decide.
"Is it illegal to stay parked by the gas pump if you're not getting gas?" Oh, we thought we could have so much fun with this. 
So I sent her "YES!" 
"Really?!" She asks.
"Yes, it's illegal! Act like you're using the pump! Hurry!" I text. And "it's also dangerous to use your cell phone while near a gas pump!" 
"No it's not!" She responds.
"Uh, yeah! Batteries, flammable liquids, sparks!" I reply.
"This is Loren talking," She sends.
"Nope, Loren's driving," I text.
"Really?" she asks.
"YES!" I reply.
"Right."
"Look it up!" I send.
After that we went home. We gave up; we surrendered. We were exhausted! 
Just a typical Saturday in the Strait-Munyon household.